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Nurse Takes Over - UPDATE w/ Chapter 2: The Evil Plot

[Introduction] I was on my way to volenteer at a mental hospital, I liked volenteering at different places and giving to the world. My name is Mark and I'm 21. The place took forever to find. When I...

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Re: Nurse Takes Over - UPDATE w/ Chapter 2: The Evil Plot

  [The Realization] Please give feedback, I will still be working on Golden Star as well as this one. I had just awoken from a heavy sleep, I couldn't move because I had shackles on my wrists, ankles,...

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Re: Nurse Takes Over - UPDATE w/ Chapter 2: The Evil Plot

Nice start!  I am curious to see where this goes.

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Re: Nurse Takes Over - UPDATE w/ Chapter 2: The Evil Plot

Thanks, I actually have a few ideas of where this could go and I can't wait to introduce them

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Re: Nurse Takes Over - UPDATE w/ Chapter 2: The Evil Plot

[The Evil Plot]Give feedback, this story was just a draft - So tell me if you like it The nurse walked up to me. She didn't say anything, she just laughed and looked around my body. After about 5...

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Re: Nurse Takes Over - UPDATE w/ Chapter 2: The Evil Plot

So far, very interesting story. Not trying to nitpick, but I wanted to point out a few issues. "Seen" should be "saw" in all cases, "passed" should be "past", in the 2nd line "too" should be "to".

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Re: Nurse Takes Over - UPDATE w/ Chapter 2: The Evil Plot

I don't think it's nit-picking, but I fixed the mistakes :)

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Re: Nurse Takes Over - UPDATE w/ Chapter 2: The Evil Plot

Well yes I like the concept so far, in fact it reminds me of an old story I wrote about a student and a classmate with a similar start. My only criticism is also to point out spelling and grammar...

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